Questions…..questions…

Disclaimer: The thoughts, expressions and events mentioned in this blog are my own. Any semblance to people or conversations is coincidental.
People say that I am impulsive. Meaning that I speak my mind and do what my heart says. My father whenever we speak tells me to control my tongue/control my anger depending on the flavor of the moment. Think before you speak etc. etc. But the point is that if I have to measure and weigh every time I open my mouth, its better to be a yogini and sit in a corner. (Lately I have been contemplating a lot on being a yogini. Getting liberty from wants, desires, expectations etc. But I am so much attached to my home, family and friends that I will be a failure in this venture too.) We desire so many things in life- a preferred career, a desired relationship but we achieve so little. In the midst of that if we can’t even speak what we want, then is life really worth living? I agree if every one behaves as he wants and speaks as he wishes then this world will become chaotic but sometimes at least occasionally we should speak our minds.
We are so very inhibited by social norms that acting on our instincts is a definite no-no. In the twilight of our lives we sit back and evaluate and feel sorry about missed opportunities and unsaid thoughts. Why is it difficult to say sorry to someone who we have wronged or thank you to someone who has inspired us? Why is it difficult to support someone who is right and to negate someone who is wrong?
I cry a lot. A wailing baby, an emotional scene on TV or while reading a book, anything can move me to tears. This means I cry often. My family tells me a grihalaxmi should not weep, it brings ill-luck. But my argument is tears give me strength, every mishap in my life I have encountered with tears. Every drop that I have shed has given me courage. So if I bottle my tears inside me, how will I forge ahead? Every person has his/her own methodology of building energy; I do it with tears, am I wrong?
To all my well wishers I would just like to say, all attempts to modify me will result in failure, I am genetically made this way, you see.
P.S. People are afraid to speak to me lest I quote them on my blog:(. So this disclaimer 🙂
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