Then and Now

I often find myself going into the flashback mode nowadays which makes me wonder whether I have reallly become too old. Yesterday had bought some chikki but found that its not so tasty and remarked to my husband that its not as good as it used to be. Earlier when my father used to say that we used to buy so much for 2 annas etc, I used to cringe. But nowadays I find myself doing the same. Indian vegetables were 6oo fils a kg earlier now its 900, rent used to be 80 BD now minimum is 150 and so on. So does it mean that I am ageing up fast or am I becoming like my father?? Don’t know for sure but any minor/ major happenings do prompt me to think back.

Friendships over the times have changed. The friendships of school days were so very transparent, without any barriers. You could share anything, giggle on silly jokes, but then life isn’t that complicated at that age. The only complications were exams then. With adolescence came some opaqueness in friendships too and with competition in studies there was more distance. Suddenly there were lots of ‘secrets’ to be hidden from friends. Now married and with a kid, I find friendships on a different level altogether. With some I chat about parenting issues, with some about politics, with some on economic issues etc but still I yearn for the friendships of childhood. Those friends with whom I could chat with no strings attached, no restrictions and without fear. Friends with whom I could unravel my burdens.

The relation between a parent and child is so very unique, so very special. Nothing is hidden from a parent. But as time goes by, as the child becomes an adult there is also a huge gap in communication. Firstly because the child has now matured and secondly because he/ she does not want to bother his parents with his troubles. True, a person should learn to handle his own affairs. But still I long for the days when I could unravel my heart.

Courtship days or the days immediately following marriage are so very special. Its like discovering life anew. Those whispered talks, the holding hands, the knowing looks. As days go by; there is no need for all that; one look or sometimes just the presence of your partner is enough to know what he is thinking or what he wants. And we settle down to a comfortable existence side by side. But still I long for the carefree days of being ‘Just married’

Does this happen to everyone or is it just me? Do you too think about then and now?

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