Hopeless and then some hope!!

Navya finished packing and sat musing. Then she got up and moved around the house. Touching everything tenderly. This home she had built herself with so much loving care and now she had to leave it all. Why? Because she was childless. Ten long years and still childless; that was the expression people gave her.
It was strange. A girl/woman may be intelligent, smart,, loving but to be considered marriage ‘material’ her looks, her ability to cook and her ability to multiply were the deciding factors. People actually check on the girls background and see that the family does not have any history of ‘barrenness’

But there was no history of barrenness in her family. She just had some hormonal imbalances and was undergoing treatment. But not any more. She could endure the physical pain of the ‘treatment’ but not people’s glances and her in-laws queries. Al most every other day her m-i-l would call and ask ‘any good news?’. What good news could you expect every other day?

She loved kids but didn’t mind not able to have one, adoption would have equally satisfied her. But Ajay her husband was against it. He said that having your own kid was altogether different experience. It was strange how our society functions. As soon as you are married, people say, ‘so, when will you be giving us the good news?’ As if that is the sole object of two people coming together. The friends who were once close were now busy with their kids. Even meeting them was sort of agony because they had no other topic of discussion except their kids studies, their pranks, their not eating properly etc.

And so she had decided to leave her husband and Bahrain. She would be flying to India on the pretext of visiting an ailing Uncle and from there she would go to some other place and start a new life. No, she was not escaping. But she could not see Ajay’s pain. He loved kids and why should he suffer because of her. She knew he would never divorce her but he would never adopt also, so what else she could do?

It was Friday, the weekly off in the Gulf. Ajay was attending a seminar and so she had hurriedly packed her bags. Hurriedly; because she had to keep her certificates and all. If she had packed in front of him, he would have been suspicious.

The lock turned and Ajay stepped inside. ’Arrey, you came back early?’, she said.

‘Hmm’, he said, he looked preoccupied, so she kept quiet.

After some hours, he called, ’Navya, I met your boss Mr. Kashi, he said you have resigned. You didn’t tell me? Why? You were going to leave me, isn’t it?’

She kept mum.

‘is it because of your not able to conceive and everyone’s comments. But Navya, remember what the Doctor said? To think positive. Its just some imbalance Navya….’

“yes Ajay its imbalance but you are forgetting that I am 35 and the chances to conceive are slim now and then you are so against adoption that I had no other choice’

‘Actually I am not against adoption Navya. But laws on adoption are strict. For NRIs even more. I have put in an application but it takes time. And then there is no guarantee that we may get permission. I insisted on trying for a biological baby so that later on you don’t have any regrets. That’s why’

‘Really, have you really applied?’

‘Yes I have, keep your fingers crossed. Meanwhile go to India have a vacation and return. Mr.Kashi is ready to throw away your resignation,’ Ajay replied with a smile.

‘But what about your parents?’ she asked,’ will they agree for adoption?’

‘That is our decision isn’t it. But I am sure when they look into the angels face they will come around’, he answered.

And so sat Navya musing but now with a joyous heart.

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