I had initially thought of this post to be an entry for an ongoing contest but then changed my mind.
I had started blogging as a channel for my thoughts and creativity and to keep alive my ability to write. And participating in a contest didn’t seem right to my motive, so let me just write to satisfy myself :).
I am not going to write about what amma has done for her kids, her likes, dislikes or her creativity. Instead I am going to write about three things of her which try as I might, am not able to emulate.
First is her ability to smile, she might be hurt and devastated inside but her face will have a smile. Unlike me, whose face is like a mirror and shows all the emotion in an instant.
Second is her ability of giving strength. We have gone through a lot many downs and at every step she has provided only motivation and held my morale high. I know personally she was suffering from my pain too but at every step she has held my hand and made me strive through. It amazes me that even though geographically we are so far off but still she knows when I am happy or sad and will call me at that moment.
Thirdly, she let me be. Yes she let me be, she let her wild, headstrong daughter to be as she is and let her evolve herself. Yes she might have had ambitions for me, but never imposed them. Instead letting me do what my heart asked me to. I don’t know whether I will be that magnanimous with my son.
Now thats time is running out, I am scared that what will happen when she leaves this mortal world but then I chide myself that she would never want me to be weak and I just know that if not in flesh, she will be with me in spirit, always.
So will I be thanking her now? No I won’t because no amount of thanks will be enough for her, instead I will continue with my journey to better myself and I know that will make her glad.