Keep MUM?

These are the words with which my mother will part from me, whether in person or on the phone.
Reason being my temper which flares very often and my ability to argue and counter argue till I have won my point. This ability of mine is demonstrated only with my family members and not with others. Usually with others I am more patient and resilient. And so my parents often tell me to keep calm and think why the person (read husband) is taking in an accusatory tone or pointing out faults or haughty.
Earlier I used to retort saying that we are the women of the new generation who don’t believe that pati is indeed parmeshwar and we believe in equality.
But over the years I have realised that keeping mum sometimes does help. Firstly I may have done something wrong or most often it is the tensions and frustrations of the ‘outside world’ which are often unleashed on me, there being no other outlet. Keeping mum does have its advantages. The other party feels guilty and quickly comes down to reality and apologizes. 😀 Mothers advice does hold true.
Arguing in such times just means that the issue goes out of hand and a general discord or as in my case loss of sleep.
But many times women do face domestic abuse- verbal or physical and keep mum. Very often their self-confidence is so bruised that they take the onus of being in the wrong on themselves. Thinking that they must have done something wrong and hence the punishment.
Keeping mum in such cases does not help. It’s necessary that you speak out, tell somebody within the family or a friend, who can reinstate that you are actually being abused.
Here staying mum would mean utter loss of self-worth and a continuation of abuses.So ultimately it is we who have to decide keeping in mind the situation to keep mum or not.


11 thoughts on “Keep MUM?

  1. Thanks for the thought provoking post. As the Sanskrit saying goes: Mounam Sarvartha
    Sadhagam. (Silence has the power to convey all meaning).

  2. Bhagya,
    what you say is absolutely true.Where ever one to raise there voice ,it has to be. Keeping mum will only worsen the situations.

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