On Saturday I was putting my clothes to dry on the terrace. It was a breezy day; the sun was playing hide and seek amidst the clouds,a helicopter was flying above; I was hanging a cloth when my right foot stuck an elevation in front of me and I fell. And then I sat and cried. I was hurt but more than the hurt I cried for a life which though is independent; will never be normal again. I will always have to walk with my head bowed down, I will always have to read with the paper held near, I will always have problem distinguishing faces. And although I should have got adjusted to my status by now; it still hurts. I am never allowed to forget that now I come in the class of visually impaired.
We live in constant fear too. Every now and then I check my sight. I peep through the peephole to check whether I can see. I try to read billboards far away. Sometimes I wonder what we are afraid of really? The fact that my tumor may recur, the fact that I may go completely blind or the fact that every visit to the OT makes our pocket a lot lighter.
In our school days we see so many dreams, plan so much – want to do this; want to do that. But as we grow all those dreams and plans are forgotten. In the rush to build careers and homes, all the tiny things that give us immense pleasure are forgotten.
I feel as soon as we come in the bracket of 35+, we should start catching up on those dreams. By that age most of us have achieved something in our careers and at home too. Do something which gives you pleasure, do something which you always wanted to do. Plan your retirement too.
When I was in Mysore for my graduation I used to help out two blind students who were doing their B.A. It was nothing much; sometimes help them cross the road, dictate notes etc. And I had dreamt that one day I will do something for the visually challenged people. I believe that what I am going through today is God’s way to show me what the blind need. And I believe someday I will be able to do something for people like me.
I plan too; not only for my retirement days but also for a life beyond that. But that will be a post for another day and another site.
Never forget what you used to dream about.