Recently I have started reading some new blogs. Meaning new for me. Other than the regular ones I read, I read some who are on blogroll of some others, some on Indiblogger etc. But I seriously feel that we as a generation are fault finders. We find faults of everybody except ourselves. We worry too much on mundane things. Why I often wonder.

I had the problem of thinking too much if I felt hurt of someones behaviour or someones words. But very often it amounted to nothing. Very often the persons behaviour was because of something other than me which had bothered him/her. Very often we get hurt because of someones words but that person may or may not have meant what we have understood. Perception matters.

I value myself. Self respect is important but if my husband asks me to do something; like if he asks me to have a bath, pray and then start my day on a particular day or drape a sari on some day. I do it. So is my husband a tyrant . No. He asked me to do something in a gentle manner, I did it. Why? Because I love him and respect him. Mutual love and respect is important and the mannerΒ  in which things are said or conveyed is important too. Any relation needs some sacrifice, some accommodation and some patience. Especially marriage. Nowadays none of the marriage happen in a blink. You meet the person, see if you are compatible and then take the plunge. When you take the plunge, have some patience, some tolerance to see that it succeeds. Yes both the parties do need to work on it. You may get worked up because of your work and then scream on him and he may get worked up and scream on you. Thats normal. You don’t have to cry ‘Injustice’ or run to your momma. It happens.

There are two point of view in any situation and we often jump to conclusions hearing only one point of view. A family friends daughter complained to her mother about how her husband had yelled at her. Her mother had asked,’and what had you done?’ I wasΒ  young and had drawn daggers at the man and had not understood what aunty had meant. I guess today I do.

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I am incoherent, ain’t I? But I had to put this down. My intentions are not to hurt anybody, just putting down what I feel.

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18 thoughts on “

  1. Yes, we are so critical and raving and ranting always. I did a post about too much negativity myself. And, I agree that doing certain things are fine. Why is every action put under a microscope of right or wrong. Why are so many others judging us? Why are we looking for equal relationships anyway. Just like newspapers, it is negativity that sells. There are these blogs always making fun of something. It is not like I don’t write critical stuff on my blog. It has just become the way around us these days. And, haven’t you had enough of feminist blog posts? :).

  2. Well this is your blog , you have the right to put what you want to and how you want to , if someone feels bad then they are most welcome to NOT come again πŸ™‚ simple , but if they are good then they will probably email you to sort out whatever it is simple .. Thats the rule i follow.

    And I like Rachna’s reply above why should all actions be seen as right or wrong, moreover who is anyone else to judge it is right or wrong.. and to confuse more WHAT is right or wrong …

    right for me may be wrong for you or vice versa…

    I think the problem is that we are too much interested in what is going on in someone else’s house.. and have a blind eye to what is going on in our own .. if we take time then the things we moan about majority of that is probably is happening in our own home πŸ™‚

    • Yes, what is right or wrong?
      I was disgusted with our lack of patience in relations especially a marriage. Isn’t marriage about understanding each other. He listens to me I listen to him; thats whatis needed-listening is important.
      many a problem is solved if we try to understand the other and accommodating a bit

  3. Mundane things make up our lives and when even that little mundane thing is tough to accomplish, that when we (people) start complaining! Fault finding is probably the only next best option when we do not have the ability to bring any desired positive changes…..and on top of that we are affected easily by things that happen around us which probably caused more problems….just my thoughts

    In one of your remarks you said you are getting fed up with negativism and using humor to combat it! Way to go – cos that’s the approach I try to use πŸ™‚ at least on my blog! πŸ˜€

    • Yes, u r right. But has anyone tried finding out why accomplishing anything is difficult?
      What I meant to say if u try to find faults, then u will find faults only, try to see good and u will see good.

  4. I agree it’s a matter of perception.

    At times we fail to understand the depth of the writer’s emotions for we have no/little clue what triggered the thought process.

    But I agree, overall, chaos & impatience are on a rise.

  5. you have taken words out of my mouth..exactly..

    why term everything as sacrifice…

    and many bloggers are just bashing people specially man,inlaws,system,our traditions…..

    We need to learn patience and values all over again, as the news headlines of teenagers killing teachers or elders tell us.

    • I agree that everyone should know their rights but lets do our duties too. And the fact remains that women are the nurturers of the family. We may build careers but let us not forget that we build families too.

  6. For people who accommodate and sacrifice, it actually shouldn’t feel like a sacrifice.

    The moment someone starts thinking that they are sacrificing and accommodating, its downfall in a relationship.

    Very soon they start counting how many times they have sacrificed things for their partner and start thinking about how many times their partners have sacrificed things for them. From then on, its a numbers game and more trouble:)

  7. Very, very well put Bhagya. I cannot tell you how much I echo your thoughts. πŸ™‚
    Every little thing that we do or our partners do for us is not a sacrifice. Why overuse the term? Relationships are mutual; that is their inherent nature. It is all about, like you said, mutual love and respect. If petty issue always come in the way, it is a good talking that is needed.

    • Our generation is such that we weigh whatever we do for others including our partners; which is wrong actually. It is my belief that the disintegration of the family unit today is because of this.

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