I looked out of my window. The visuals were not that bad. Having moved into this city recently, I was skeptical of everything. I had not thought that we would get a spacious flat but we had. I had thought that the neighbours would be boorish, they were not. In fact they were quite friendly. The building had long corridors which meant that Akhil my son could play even if it was raining outside. There were many kids and whats more, Akhil’s classmate Raj lived next door. With Akhil settled down. I was at peace and more adjustable to the circumstances.
Yes, I missed my family especially my in-laws with whom I had been living for the past 10 years but then some sacrifices are needed if you have to advance in your career. And so when the husband got a good offer we moved to this city leaving our home and loved ones behind.
‘Ma, I am going to play’, screamed Akhil. I was feeling bored so I followed him out. It was very hot that day and so the kids had decided to play in the corridor and then when it cooled down, they had plans to move out.
They started playing cricket. After two overs, Akhil said, ‘Wait’, I will call Raj’.
And he started banging the door and ringing the bell simultaneously.
‘Don’t make a din, Akhil’, I said
‘Another boy said, ‘Don’t call Raj, we have Summatives next week, so don’t call.
Akhil didn’t listen to either of us and kept on banging.
The door opened with a jerk and Raj’s father came out and yelled, ‘Don’t you have exams next week, go study and DO NOT DISTURB understand??’, and he shut the door with a bang.
Akhil was shaken. I did not know how to respond. The other boy said, ‘I warned you na, summatives are on next week and so Raj and his brother will not come out for the next 15 days.
I was surprised. I mean so many amends have been made so that there is not much stress on children, there are no marks or ranks given but only grades and yet……
Summatives had begun but at out home everything was normal. We both believe that children learning is a continuous process. And though we see to it that Akhil revises the day before the exam, we try and see that he is not stressed.
And so he was his normal self- monkeying around. I was taking my stroll he was cycling. We saw Raj, he was carrying a packet obviously he had been to get something from the shop nearby.
‘How are you, Raj, EVS went well today?’, I asked.
The boy was disturbed and was about to cry. ‘No, I made two mistakes’, he said and ran away.
We just stood looking at him. This was quite unlike Akhil who just comes and yells, ‘Ma, I made two mistakes’, as if it is an achievement to be broadcast.
The results were out. Akhil did reasonably well. I was satisfied. Even if I had asked him why he had done mistakes, he would have just replied, ‘It happened Ma, what can I do about it now’. So I just told him where all he had gone wrong and what all he had to improve.
I didn’t ask Raj and his brother how they had fared. I was afraid that if they had not done well, they would be hurt.
I met their father some days later and after some preliminary talks as any normal conversations go between parents I asked him how his sons had fared. ‘Not good, the elder one got in the range of 37, 38 out of 40 the younger one got 40 in two and 39, 39.5 in two’, he said.
‘But that is very good’, I protested.
‘Oh no they have to be perfect to get good grades’, he said.
‘But is it so important? It is how you lead your life which is more important’, I said. I truly believe that it is not marks but your character, integrity, values which help you to be successful in life.
‘Do you teach that to your child’, he said, ‘Don’t do that marks are important, getting full marks is very important’, he said and left.
I kept on looking. What was important? Raising happy confident kids or raising robot kids?
There was a commotion behind. I looked there. An old man had slipped and fallen, all the grocery items had fallen from his shoulder bag. Akhil first helped the man to get up on his feet and then proceeded to pick up everything and put in the bag.Then he put the bag on his shoulder and held the old man’s hand and lead him to his home.
Akhil many never be a topper, maybe he will never be an IAS or Engineer but I knew that his heart was in the right place and he was a winner all the way.
This post in part of Write over the Weekend an initiative for Indian bloggers by BlogAdda.
The theme for this week, DO NOT DISTURB
I truly believe that education is a beautiful learning process and though competition is good, the quest for perfection kills the appetite for learning.
You know when I meet parents like this I just move my head up & down,having a plastic smile, without showing interest in there talk. I get annoyed by such parenting. See, just reading this annoyed me a bit. 😛
😦 Sorry to have annoyed you Praveen but what you say is so true….
That was just such a beautiful take on the WoW prompt. Loved the story where you have clearly highlighted all that is wrong with our current education system which places such a high premium on marks and not learning itself. Raj’s parents have fallen victim to the pressures that the education system puts on them. Lovely post 😀
Our education system has changed a lot when compared to earlier times Jairam. It is much simpler and easier now. There are so many options now unlike what was available earlier BUT it is our mindsets which we are not able to change.
Beautiful post on a very important matter! Good use of the prompt.
I have come across parents who punish their children for not getting 100%! They ensure that their kids have no childhood whatsoever.
And that is very sad. Such kids when exposed to life situations do not really know how to react.
I don’t like compelling children to get full marks. As you say, they should not get scared of not getting full marks. It will affect their nature. The children who have got pressure at home, just mug lessons and spill out in the answer sheets. It will be very difficult when they go out of school and start working. common sense will not be there for them. They will get bored of their job then. The complex starts which would affect their whole life.
Exactly Sandhyakka, you summed it all up very well
It’s sad how parents make academics the priority in life and social values are ‘nicely’ ignored. I pity such parents. Very well written and I’ll prefer my kids to be laureates in real life and bettr human beings than scholars.
Good Vishal 🙂 All the best for the future 😀
“I truly believe that it is not marks but your character, integrity, values which help you to be successful in life.”
Same pinch!!! 🙂 Even I believe that before anything else, a child must be taught to be a good human and to respect fellow living beings. There are many parents’ like Raj’s father all around. Feel pity for those kids. Love you for this beautiful post highlighting this issue. 🙂
Thanks Rekha. We may have progressed in many ways but our mentality unfortunately has not
Lovely post. I loved that question “What was important? Raising happy confident kids or raising robot kids?” Something that today’s parents should ponder on.
Most of us Geeta are bothered just on grades, on being 1st but there are other issues which are much more important, isn’t it?
A good story for young parents.Topping or coming high in the class alone is not sufficient but the children should be taught good values.An excellent story with a message
Thank you KP Sir. Coming 1st in class is fairly easy, success in life is not and it requires life skills not marks 😦
Studying hard and working towards perfection is okay but being stressed out and missing the small pleasures of life is a strict no-no. Parents instead of criticizing should appreciate for their kid’s efforts, A very nice post Bhagyashree.
Thanks Kalpanaji. Being so strict with small children will have some repercussions I feel. The kid will just be afraid of any exam.