I am unique

I am a housewife

and I am proud about it

and no no one forced me to be one.

In case you wonder what happened to me suddenly, let me put it straight; I am fed up of the Women’s day messages. Yes, I am a woman that too a housewife, But I have not sacrificed. I mean every other message that I get talks about the sacrifices that woman make. Maybe I have but so has my husband. Most of the time, he is the one, who holds back his wishes, his wants for our sake.  My sacrifice if any must be minimal. You may say that I am lucky. Maybe I am. I have not been abused, my wishes have not been sidelines,  my voice has not been subdued, And I do not think that my rights have been subjugated.

We just lead ordinary lives. Each respecting the other and adjusting to the numerous demands of life.

Yes I am the first one to wake up and the last one to sleep. So is it a sacrifice? I don’t think so. It is just that I can take a nap when I am free. The rules of time do not apply to me much. When I decided for marriage, when I decided that family will be my prime responsibility, it was my choice. A choice that my husband did not get.

Yes I am lucky. I haven’t faced discrimination. As a youngest child, my parents had gathered enough experience to understand that I was an individual in my own right. I was given the same opportunities as my brother got and sometimes more. The only restriction that I had was that I had to be home before dark. Well I never had the need to stay out late for that matter.

As a wife my opinions are valued. As a daughter in law I may have faced prejudices but my family has always stood beside me providing the moral support which I needed.

Today when I balance my home, my child’s education, seva I don’t feel I am sacrificing anything. Because whatever I did was my choice. A decision which I took with my eyes open and a heart full of love. I wanted to be the backbone of the family, the one whom the others could confide in. I wanted to be there when they wanted me most. You may say that it is in my gene…the slavery, the ready to be ‘the doormat of the house’. I don’t think so.

Whatever we say it is the woman who makes up the home, she is the caregiver, she is the planner, allocator, and in many cases the one who looks after the financial planning too. The men may be the bread winner but it is the woman who runs the show.

Then why brand woman as people whose rights have been compromised or the ones who don’t have a voice. Many like me don’t run offices nor climb mountains but we build lives. And no we don’t yearn for a day or some declaration. We are just happy looking at the values we have built up.

 

Yes there are many who face odds. But for those; is it necessary to cry out and declare the entire human race as one who compromise on womens rights and needs. Is it so necessary to circulate the sob stories. Is it necessary t brand the males as predatory?

I am unique. I am special and no I don’t need a day to tell me that

 

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10 thoughts on “I am unique

  1. You have seen the concept of women’s day through the narrow prism of your life.You are fortunate and blessed with an understanding husband and supportive parents.There may be many others like you.Like the adage that one swallow does not make a summer,we cannot conclude from the lives of a few lucky women,that everything is hunky dory for the women.I can speak for the vast multitude of rural and poor women in India.
    Illiteracy,poverty,lack of jobs,gender discrimination,deprivation of political and economic power and the burden of social prejudices are mill stones around their neck,especially in the rural sides.Female infanticide,lack of pre and post natal facilities in villages,lack of educational facilities,alcoholism of men are realities for rural women that cannot be ignored.We are still a patriarchal society where laws are not equal.Thanks to Women’s day and the realisation as a seqel that empowerment of women is a sine qua non for the progress of any country,things are changing albeit slowly.
    One cannot expect men to work for the betterment of women.It is the women who have to rise to remove the obstacles for their growth.Women’s day is an occasion for introspection to see how women are treated,their conditions and what needs to be done.
    It is a different matter whether such an important day is used only to exchange messages Instead of spreading an awareness among people.

    • KP Sir, I completely agree with you. The intention behind these special days is to help spread awareness about the less fortunate and trying to help them out. But sadly most people have reduced it to only wishing.

    • I completely agree with you
      But then who are the ones who send these messages. The ones who are in a better position. The ones who cry foul when things do not go according to their plans.
      How many of the really deprived women know of women’s day?? And sadly many promises are made on these allocated days and nothing is done later on.
      Sadly in many cases Sir, it is the women who do bad for women.
      I don’t think such days have any significance in rural areas
      My objection is mainly because I do nothing as a ‘sacrifice’ as so many messages point out. Whatever I do is out of love. ‘Full stop’

  2. Hi Bhagyashree
    If we really consider ourselves equal, why do we need a special day? 😀 But as you rightly said the ones who actually need empowerment are not even aware of such a day….

    • Exactly 🙂 My feeling is that such days will not be enough to empower those who really need it. Empowerment is possible if each one of us puts out a hand to help another

  3. Reminds me of the post I did some time back on the Infamous SLUT WALK.. that too was done for the good of WOMEN but only RICH women were in that march, the ones who wore expensive clothings, shoes .. and then had a party later on..

    the whole idea of spreading swareness etc is for those who are not so lucky , or the ones who really really need help Sadly such days dont mean anything to them because they are out there in the Sun working hard to earn some money because they want to put food on the table.

    but such is the way of the world..

  4. Loved to read this Bhagyashree. You are so right. I too don’t feel I’ve been marginalized or denied a voice. I have never felt I needed to compare my lot with that of men. This whole gender war thing is irrelevant and pointless to me. Thank you for saying it as you have.

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