Tag Archive | kids

Sweet angel II

first part here

Our relationship had changed after my illness. We were in more friendly terms now.

I obeyed her and she obeyed me and so there was harmony but can there be any peace.

The husband had become grouchy. Even though I tried to probe, he refused to answer me.

The seventh day I just could not take it. I closed the bedroom door and asked what the matter was.

‘Why are you bothered? Go finish your assignment or go chat with Akhila?’, he said

Then I understood that he was being jealous and tried to pacify him. ‘No Heena. I understand that once we have kids, this is what is going to happen. You will be busy with yourself and completely neglect me’.

That set me thinking. It was such a tough job balancing relationships.

That weekend was long as there was a national festival, it was an opportune time for bonding and I planned an outing. Akhila would have finished her exam and we could just relax.

We went to the beach. The weather was good. The sun and the sand and the water helped us to get closer. I looked at Anand. He understood children so well. As both of them made sand dunes. I sat far away observing them.

Motherhood always scared me. Anand and me have been married for seven years and though everyone has stopped asking us when we will have kids, I know Anand yearns for a family of his own. Was I being selfish by denying a child to Anand, I didn’t know. I didn’t want a child just for having a child. I wanted to be a perfect mother.

But I was learning…..You could learn to be good along with your kid.. A kid can be a wonderful teacher. I was learning every day with Akhila.

As we relaxed on the beach, I realised that in these two weeks we had become family. Though Anand had been grouchy, he was completely in his element now. As I sat thinking our eyes met and locked. He understood me and smiled. I smiled back.

‘Do you want me to go somewhere else, so that you could keep on smiling’, it was Akhila and we started tickling her so that she was rolling in the sand.

And then Anand’s phone rang.

He answered it and all the  color from his face disappeared.

Akhila’s mother was serious, we had to rush to her town.

(to be continued)

 

I love my pastry

‘You don’t love me anymore’, I screamed, ‘It is only her nowadays, I said pointing at my ‘new’ sister.

And so I sulked. Ma cajoled and Pa tickled but did I smile. No.

And then Ma whispered something in Pa’s ears, And then Pa smiled and took the car keys and said, who will come for a ride?’

I turned my head but pa held my hand and pulled me out.

And off we went for a chocolate pastry. Pa beamed to see me drum but little did he know pastry is  why I had played this drama all along 🙂vidya-sury-secret-garden

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Written for 100 words on Saturday at Writetribe. The prompt being the picture.

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What is important?

wpid-wowbadge1I looked out of my window. The visuals were not that bad. Having moved into this city recently, I was skeptical of everything. I had not thought that we would get a spacious flat but we had. I had thought that the neighbours would be boorish, they were not. In fact they were quite friendly. The building had long corridors which meant that Akhil my son could play even if it was raining outside. There were many kids and whats more, Akhil’s classmate Raj lived next door. With Akhil settled down. I was at peace and more adjustable to the circumstances.

Yes, I missed my family especially my in-laws with whom I had been living for the past 10 years but then some sacrifices are needed if you have to advance in your career. And so when the husband got a good offer we moved to this city leaving our home and loved ones behind.

‘Ma, I am going to play’, screamed Akhil. I was feeling bored so I followed him out. It was very hot that day and so the kids had decided to play in the corridor and then when it cooled down, they had plans to move out.

They started playing cricket. After two overs, Akhil said, ‘Wait’, I will call Raj’.

And he started banging the door and ringing the bell simultaneously.

‘Don’t make a din, Akhil’, I said

‘Another boy said, ‘Don’t call Raj, we have Summatives next week, so don’t call.

Akhil didn’t listen to either of us and kept on banging.

The door opened with a jerk and Raj’s father came out and yelled, ‘Don’t you have exams next week, go study and DO NOT DISTURB understand??’, and he shut the door with a bang.

Akhil was shaken. I did not know how to respond. The other boy said, ‘I warned you na, summatives are on next week and so Raj and his brother will not come out for the next 15 days.

I was surprised. I mean so many amends have been made so that there is not much stress on children, there are no marks or ranks given but only grades and yet……

Summatives had begun but at out home everything was normal. We both believe that children learning is a continuous process. And though we see to it that Akhil revises the day before the exam, we try and see that he is not stressed.

And so he was his normal self- monkeying around. I was taking my stroll he was cycling. We saw Raj, he was carrying a packet obviously he had been to get something from the shop nearby.

‘How are you, Raj, EVS went well today?’, I asked.

The boy was disturbed and was about to cry. ‘No, I made two mistakes’, he said and ran away.

We just stood looking at him. This was quite unlike Akhil who just comes and yells, ‘Ma, I made two mistakes’, as if it is an achievement to be broadcast.

The results were out. Akhil did reasonably well. I was satisfied. Even if I had asked him why he had done mistakes, he would have just replied, ‘It happened Ma, what can I do about it now’. So I just told him where all he had gone wrong and what all he had to improve.

I didn’t ask Raj and his brother how they had fared. I was afraid that if they had not done well, they would be hurt.

I met their father some days later and after some preliminary talks as any  normal conversations go between parents I asked him how his sons had fared. ‘Not good, the elder one got in the range of 37, 38 out of 40 the younger one got 40 in two and 39, 39.5 in two’, he said.

‘But that is very good’, I protested.

‘Oh no they have to be perfect to get good grades’, he said.

‘But is it so important? It is how you lead your life which is more important’, I said. I truly believe that it is not marks but your character, integrity, values which help you to be successful in  life.

‘Do you teach that to your child’, he said, ‘Don’t do that marks are important, getting full marks is very important’, he said and left.

I kept on looking. What was important? Raising happy confident kids or raising robot kids?

There was a commotion behind. I looked there. An old man had slipped and fallen, all the grocery items had fallen from his shoulder bag. Akhil first helped the man to get up on his feet and then proceeded to pick up everything and put in the bag.Then he put the bag on his shoulder and held the old man’s hand and lead him to his home.

Akhil many never be a topper, maybe he will never be an IAS or Engineer but I knew that his heart was in the right place and he was a winner all the way.

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This post in part of Write over the Weekend an initiative for Indian bloggers by BlogAdda.

The theme for this week, DO NOT DISTURB

I truly believe that education is a beautiful learning process and though competition is good, the quest for perfection kills the appetite for learning.

An evening well spent

In an opinionated world; I sit alone musing, hearing.

Someone has to listen too. But sometimes the listening and the observing gets on the nerves, You can’t always be passive, can you.

We had been invited for a get-together a sort of potluck. It was nice. Everyone were meeting after a long time, The men were busy with their ‘talks’ as women were busy with their ‘gossip’. I haven’t really understood ever why men talk and women gossip. I mean don’t men gossip and women talk. But let us not get involved with all that.

I love to observe. But then I suppose you already know that. So here were women adjusting their Tees and men showing off their current affairs while the kids were having a ‘free’ time. Running here and there, knocking things and climbing everything which could be climbed.

And I remembered a time when parents just had to show their eyes and kids would sit quietly. Not that I approve of that system but I did not approve of ‘this’ system

I mean kids were running about knocking things, one of the kids opened the door of the refrigerator and took some chocolates, another opened the door of the wardrobe. And one of the kids had got on the arm rest of the sofa and from there to the table and was trying to take the clock. I couldn’t control myself and called out his mother who came at her leisurely pace and said , ‘Beta, what are you doing?’. The boy said, ‘Mamma I want to see that clock’.

‘No beta, go and play with some toy’.

The conversation went on. The hostess was sweating by then that her prized clock may not survive and Me?? I was fuming.

I mean yes children do have rights but manners, who will teach them that?

There are some who will not allow their children to touch anything at their place. Everything is placed beyond the kids reach. But once they land on others property, everything becomes the property of the kids.

The basic courtesy of offering a seat to any elder, eating in a dignified way rather than piling up food high on your plate and hogging as if there is no tomorrow, all these basic courtesies have to be taught at home right.

Sonny dear was still hanging on to the clock. mommy dear was still placating. The other kids had also decided to be more adventurous. The proud mammas and the prouder papas beamed. The host and the hostess were sweating so profusely that the air of the central A/C didn’t even manage to air them.

And Me? I was tired of observing.

I got up. I had thought of relaxing today but knew that my brief sojourn was over.

‘Children want to play’, I asked. The hostess sighed in relief.

‘No, we are enjoying ourselves’, one of the monsters said.

‘All of you either come with me or you go without food’, I said. Some of the mothers glared at me. I knew that I will never be invited to their homes anymore.

There was silence. The host sat down in relief. I marched into another room, The kids followed me. We sang, we played and in the midst of it all I tried to tell them about basic courtesies and manners. When it was time to eat I asked the mothers to bring some food for their kids. And the children all sat in that room eating in harmony.

When it was time to go, the children all bade me farewell; some with a handshake, some with a kiss. The adults….some ignored me, some turned their face.

The hostess hugged me tight and whispered in my ear, ‘I am sorry that your evening was spoiled but I am so grateful to you for saving our evening.’

I just hugged her back. It is not necessary to be always vocal, isn’t it?

*fiction

 

 

The telemarketer

It was a busy day. The day had been spent on conference calls, preparations, presentations. But days are like that when the company is going through some restructuring.

Nitin was tired, longing to escape on a holiday with his family but no, not now, not for some months at least.

The phone rang. He picked it up.file000884219889

‘Sir, I am calling on behalf of xxxxx Bank would you like to take a personal loan?’, the telesales-person said.

‘How many times I have to say no and how did you get my office number?’, he screamed.

‘Sir please I need to complete my target. Please Sir’, she pleaded.

Nitin understood that this is one lady who would not withdraw.

‘Why don’t you meet me today evening at Starbucks at Exhibition Road? And I want you to meet me and not some silly Salesman’.

There was silence for some time and then she said, ‘Fine Sir, 6.30 p.m then’

‘Yes but I can give you 15 minutes not more than that.

‘Sure Sir’

Nitin was puzzled. Will a tele sales girl be so ready to oblige just for a silly target? But who knew what her obligations were. A family to support maybe………

The phone rang. It was his six-year-old son. ‘Dad’, he said in a grave tone.

Nitin’s mind raced. Why is his son so serious? Is he unwell, did he have a fight at school?

‘Dad, what day is it today?’

‘Saturday’, he replied.

“What are you doing in office? It is your holiday isn’t it?’

‘I have work son, loads of work’.

‘So much that you forgot you HAD to attend the PTA at school?’

Nitin slumped on the chair. He had promised the kids that he would attend this meeting for sure. His wife had reminded him last night but he had forgotten.

He wanted to say something but realized that the line had been cut.

Why do we have to work like this. He thought. You have deadlines to reach, presentations to make, satisfy clients just to earn some money. And when you think you have earned enough, you realize that your kids have flown away, you are old and maybe just have obesity and arthritis for company.

It was 7.00 p.m. The phone rang, ‘Sir I am waiting for you’

And then Nitin remembered that he had promised the tele girl that he would meet her. He told his assistant that he will be back in 15 minutes and rushed.

The doorman at Starbucks gave a broad mischievous grin and pointed at a table. Nitin rushed there and….. found his wife waiting there.

He stared at her.

She smiled and said, ‘Well you never listen to me so thought maybe a tele sales person could entice you.’ By then the kids joined them.

‘And by the way it is our wedding anniversary today’, she said with a smile. ‘Knew that you were too busy so we came here to celebrate with you. Care for some coffee?’

Written as a part of writetribe photo prompt

Image courtesy :MorgueFile (http://mrg.bz/LsH3I1)

Write Tribe Prompt

Simple Joys

When the mind is engaged and the senses are busy; everything becomes joyful

  • The sun is shining bright ( a tad too bright) but I am happy. It just means that my clothes will dry quicker
  • I have a horrible throat congestion coupled with some wheezing but I am happy. I may lose some weight, you see. 🙂
  • The son is messing around, splashing water all around the bathroom playing some imaginary game  but I do not say anything. I remember a time when we were lamenting to hear such sweet sounds.
  • One of the kids aged 5 read an entire story -the printout which I had given earlier in the Thursday class. My joy-boundless
  • It is sonny’s 6th birthday and I bake a cake and take to the workshop. But due to lack of time I am able to bake only one cake which will not be enough for all the 250 kids. By the time it is break time, I am on a guilt trip. I should have got up at 4 am baked another cake etc, etc. The cake is distributed to the junior batch. I avoid looking at the older ones. The break finishes- a girl comes running, hugs me and says the cake was yummy. And my guilt evaporates. I am happy that I could make at least some children happy

A bud blossoms

I was late and hurried home. My husband was out-of-town and I wanted to  be with my daughter. She can take care of herself but its exam time and I want to be there for her just in case she needs any thing.

“Good evening Doctor’, a voice called out. I looked up.

‘Hi Teacher, will catch you later, want to be with Sneha’, I said and rushed.

Ajit, an English teacher at Sneha’s school, who lived in our colony had become a very close friend of ours. A teacher who loved to teach innovatively, who was able to inspire students, who made them curious and taught them to inquire. He often asked me advice on some students who needs some psychological help. A help which I was glad about.

I feel as a generation we cater to all the whims and fancies of our kids but so very over ambitious we are, of them that we do not allow them to spread their wings.

But now was not the time to have these thoughts. I had to see if Sneha needed me.

A week late Ajit called me, ‘Doctor, can we meet this evening’.

It meant he had to discuss something,’Why not, come over this evening. the better half will be there too.’ And he agreed. The better half is quite insightful with matters concerning kids and that’s why I like him around if Ajit has a problem.

So in the evening after some juice, Ajit began, ‘I have a new student in fact in Sneha’s section only, resident of this colony. Do you know the people who have come in, in Building A4, Flat 45?’

I nodded in negative.

‘ The girl I feel is bright but is very shy. Hesitates to participate in class and gets very tense about any test’

I really did not understand what help Ajit wanted from me.

‘Doctor, I need some support from all of you’, he said.

‘What?’ we cried out in unison.

‘Can Sneha have some combined study with her and see if it makes a difference?’

‘Sure’, I said

‘We will have to ask Sneha, first’, added my ever wise husband.

‘Sure’, Ajit smiled understandingly.

Sneha said an emphatic “NO”. The reason; the girl Medha was of the silent types, did not mingle, was always hyper and the most important reaso was what the others would think of her. They might call her a baby sitter or a nanny.

‘Its alright. But Ajit thought she needs company and he thought you are the right person who could help her bloom’, said her father.

‘He thinks so’, said the kid with star struck eyes.

Our daughter has a crush on her English teacher. We know that and do not encourage her generally but today was an exception.

And she agreed.

So Medha came everyday. And she did start interacting with Sneha but if we adults  were around, she got anxious.

And then one day Sneha was invited to her house and she returned in a rage.

‘What happened?’, I asked.

‘That aunty, Medha’s mother is a b****’, she said.

‘Mind your language’, I yelled, ‘What happened’.

‘She interferes in everything. Including what we should read and how. She checks on how we write our answers etc. Can’t she mind her own business?’

So that was the problem. New age parents I tell you, can be a real pain.

Some days later the girls were very animated. I was happy Medha had opened up very nicely and now had a ‘mind of her own’ which I was sure must be giving her mother sleepless nights.

‘Maaa’, Sneha called. I went.

‘Ma, Ajit SIr has divided us into groups of 4 and asked us to prepare a skit on deforestation. We 2, Adesh and Surekha are on the same group as we belong to the same colony and practise would be easy.’

‘Only Ajit could think of all this. Shuttling kids for their practise is quite troublesome.

But then my mind went on an overdrive.  ‘Alright you four can practise e here but …. Medha have you told your mother?’

‘No  my aunt is unwell so she went to meet her. She will be coming late tonight’.

‘Alright then, do not tell her. Prepare your skit and present it’.

‘You will not help us?’, was Medha’s doubt. “no”, I said. ‘Yipee’, Sneha said.

My daughter likes it when I am away from her life. Sigh.

And so when we were at home we put ear plugs. 4 teenagers in the same house meant that our ears suffered a lot.

The skit happened, and our colony group lost. But it had helped their confidence. One was dreaming of becoming a playwright. Other an actress. But more importantly there was a glow on Medha’s face which had never existed before. And it was while the group was rejoicing their loss, Medha’s mother made an entry.

‘Medha lost her glow and she bent her head in shame.

‘Why did you forbid Medha from telling me?’, she screamed.

‘I looked towards Sneha and said,’ Can you please take your friends to your room’. They were more than happy to leave the scene.

‘So that you may not interfere’, I replied to Medha’s mother.

‘Interfere? I would have aided them to make a better skit’, she screamed.

‘Speak softly’, I said in my most professional voice, ‘It was better this way. They developed confidence, they know what went wrong and they will do better next time. ‘

‘They have lost, they will get less in their internal assessment….’

‘So what. They have gained confidence’.

‘I will not allow Medha to come here any more’, she said.

‘That is you wish. But have you seen the look of contentment in Medha’s face. why do you try to run her life, she is an individual too. Let her learn, experiment. Let her grow’.

She stamped her feet and went away and for 2 weeks Medha did not come to our place.

On the 15th day she came accompanied by her father.

‘Thank you, he said

‘For what’, I said.

He said, ‘ For letting my girl blossom into a person. She told her mom very gently and very firmly that she wants to be with Sneha . Her mother could not argue, and…. her standing out  gave me confidence too’, he said with tears in his eyes.

A single gesture, a little support could make such a big difference. I was happy. Happy that Medha would be fine from now on.

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As parents we often try to run our children’s life forgetting that they have a life of their own.

A story partly inspired by Rachna’s post at the cybernag

For more stories of  Sukriti, the counsellor:

Occupational Hazards

Communicate

To accept