Tag Archive | motherhood

Sweet angel II

first part here

Our relationship had changed after my illness. We were in more friendly terms now.

I obeyed her and she obeyed me and so there was harmony but can there be any peace.

The husband had become grouchy. Even though I tried to probe, he refused to answer me.

The seventh day I just could not take it. I closed the bedroom door and asked what the matter was.

‘Why are you bothered? Go finish your assignment or go chat with Akhila?’, he said

Then I understood that he was being jealous and tried to pacify him. ‘No Heena. I understand that once we have kids, this is what is going to happen. You will be busy with yourself and completely neglect me’.

That set me thinking. It was such a tough job balancing relationships.

That weekend was long as there was a national festival, it was an opportune time for bonding and I planned an outing. Akhila would have finished her exam and we could just relax.

We went to the beach. The weather was good. The sun and the sand and the water helped us to get closer. I looked at Anand. He understood children so well. As both of them made sand dunes. I sat far away observing them.

Motherhood always scared me. Anand and me have been married for seven years and though everyone has stopped asking us when we will have kids, I know Anand yearns for a family of his own. Was I being selfish by denying a child to Anand, I didn’t know. I didn’t want a child just for having a child. I wanted to be a perfect mother.

But I was learning…..You could learn to be good along with your kid.. A kid can be a wonderful teacher. I was learning every day with Akhila.

As we relaxed on the beach, I realised that in these two weeks we had become family. Though Anand had been grouchy, he was completely in his element now. As I sat thinking our eyes met and locked. He understood me and smiled. I smiled back.

‘Do you want me to go somewhere else, so that you could keep on smiling’, it was Akhila and we started tickling her so that she was rolling in the sand.

And then Anand’s phone rang.

He answered it and all the  color from his face disappeared.

Akhila’s mother was serious, we had to rush to her town.

(to be continued)

 

Bloopers

We are eating breakfast when I am asked, ‘So when did you get married?’

When I tell I am asked, ‘ So was I one year old or so then?’

I gape at my son. And think of my parents who might have gone into shock on hearing this. I mean, having babies before marriage is a shocker to them.

So how do you answer that. If I say that no you were not born then, the next question would be, ‘so how did I land in your tummy after marriage and not before that’

So I just say ,’ hmmm’ and say, ‘eat and don’t talk while eating’ 😀 I do not want to kill his curiosity but there are some questions which can wait, isn’t it?

And then there are ads on TV. Now kids enjoy the ads more than the programs and so I am asked, ‘Amma is that your pampers or mine?’ How do you deal with that?

We went to a big home. The kid takes a tour of the entire flat and seems confused. The host benevolently asks, ‘What happened?’. And he asks, ‘Don’t you have an altar room?’ And I ask myself why I am not like Sita. If I were I would have asked Mother Earth to engulf me.

Working with kids is fun. Nurturing those who are shy, developing those who are show offs is tough but highly satisfying. It also means that you develop your own understandings. Like there is one who will take the lead in all classes but has to be gently told that there are others too in the class. There is one who is so shy that even if she knows something she will not open her mouth and she has to be persuaded every now and then. A child went on staring at me quizzically and when I asked her what happened, she said, ‘ Your hair is on vacation??’ I laughed out loud, she was confused about my scanty hair. 🙂

And then there are adults who have left their common sense somewhere.

Hubby got a frantic call, ‘My two year old has loose motions’, he said.

‘How many times?’, the wise one said.

‘Three-four times’.

‘Alright start her on ORS’.

‘Where will I get it?’

Hubby let out a sigh. If you mix some sugar and salt in a glass of water it becomes ORS but obviously this man did not know. So he said, go and buy some sachet from the pharmacy’

He returns from work and take s a power nap when he again gets a call from the same person.

‘The loose motions have increased’

‘But did you not give ORS’

‘I did’

Alarm bells ring. And he asks, ‘ what did you mix it in? ‘

And the person says, ‘orange juice’

If I was in my husband’s place, I would have screamed, ‘You moron don’t you know that ORS is to be mixed in water.’ But he calmly says ‘Rush her to Emergency SMC’. Yes he should have been explicit and told that ORS to be mixed in water but he assumed that a person in the middle management cadre knew such things.

I miss the days of DD when there were regular ads on cleanliness, polio and of course ORS. They were ideally targeted for the illiterate but I feel we need a lot more ads like those for the present day literate illiterates.

Image courtesy :freedigitalphotos.net

Mothers!!

We were meeting after a long time. There was a lot to share, lot to talk. Earlier when we were teenagers we used to talk about boys. Then  we used to talk about jobs. And now….

Before having a child I had resolved that while in a group I won’t talk about my child. It had been my observation that we mothers tend to talk only about our kids which tends to be a heartache for the ‘non’ mothers.

And so until we talked generally I was an active participant, until the talk turned to kids.

Anecdotes, brags, worries all followed. I kept mum serving them snacks and tea.

‘Advait colors beautifully, sometimes I am wonder-struck as to how he got that talent because we two were never into any art, ‘ said one

‘That is wonderful, my Nisha has wonderful memory; she never forgets anything’, said another.

‘ Aryan runs so fast, I am sure he will go into athletics’, said the third.

‘What about you’, asked the first one to me, ‘your son is a loner I know’, she said making a long face.

‘My son loves mathematics, he is so good with numbers you know, I am searching for some abacus trainer…………….blah blah blah.

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*fictitious but aren’t we mothers like that 😛

POX’ed

What would you do if you discover some tiny red spots somewhere on your kid?

Heat Boils, the father said and I agreed. Why I agreed, was because that is what I wanted to hear. Though my mind, my instincts screamed Pox, yet I agreed because that is what I wanted to hear.

But when the scabs decided to erupt wholeheartedly the next day, I took charge because you see the whole night my mind had prepared me for it.

And I tell you it was not easy.

The fever, the crankiness, the itching; nothing is glamorous about chicken pox. The most difficult part is keeping a five-year old boy occupied and divert him towards something other than itching. And the questions, those are the toughest:why do I have this, am I a bad boy? Why didn’t my friends get it? Why can’t I go out to play? Why are you giving me these steamed vegetables and what are you eating by the way? I tell you people it is difficult to keep patience with questions.

At the end of the 11 days hibernation, we both had forgotten that a world outside the four walls of our home exists.

But then all is fine now and he has resumed school and exams. I have learnt a few things:

  • You can survive seeing just two faces in a day 😀
  • Steamed vegetables are tasty too 😛
  • When a kid is cranky a mom can devise new games and stories in seconds 😛
  • Blogging can revitalize you. Really people stuck at home with endless questions and endless chores, blogging gave me a much-needed breather.

And now that things are back to normal, should I take a break? *Thinking, thinking*