Thankful

I read a few posts on 1000 speak for compassion and it sure gladdened my heart. And regret too. For I didn’t even know that such a thing/event was happening on the 20th. Talk of being ignorant or busy whichever way you take it. But then on second thoughts 20th was a Friday and even if I knew, I wouldn’t have been able to post anything that day….it was a Friday and a holiday here. Yes, I could have scheduled it but then…..I didn’t.

Generally I hate the present  trend of society. The selfie clicking, selfish, narcissistic people that we have become. But then there are people and occasions who restore faith in me of humanity in general.

The laws here are strict. Children are on fathers visa. A woman on housewife visa is supposed to be just that. So what happens if the man of the house dies. The woman generally is given indemnity, insurance money, some compensation, the air ticket and packed off to the home country along with her kids. The end of the story.

A young man while jogging in the park collapses and dies instantly. Reason-cardiac arrest. The family is shocked. For all reasons the man had been healthy and quite active too, who would have imagined that something like this would happen. The wife is shattered but there is one consolation her sister lives close by.  And while everyone expects her to be sent away. She gathers courage and walks to the employer of her deceased husband tells him that she is a commerce graduate. She can handle accounts.  Everyone shake their head, employers are not generally compassionate are they. The employer pays her indemnity of her husband. And then employes her too. And whats more he sees to it that her daughters get visa on her name. Which is a little uncommon here in Bahrain. Everyone pitches in. The neighbours take care of the girls till she arrives from work. The sister sees to it that whenever she goes to get provision, she tags her sister along because the young widow does not know driving ( Women here generally do not use public transport) and so on. The woman then decides to learn driving and lo, the driving instructor gives her a discount.

Today she is a self-confident woman who is caring and compassionate. Her lovely daughters and just like their mother. I often wonder if she would have been the same, if the situation had been adverse to her.

I have a student…bratty and a slow learner. I assumed that she must be a pampered kid. One whose father brings her gifts for no reason. Talk of assumptions and judging others and a over imaginative brain). Until I come to know that her father expired long back. Her senior in school took her under her wing. They go to the same church, so their mothers knew each other. So this senior saw to it that her mother get a job for her juniors mother. Not only that whatever her parents got for her, she would demand the same for her junior. When she started going for tuitions, she took her junior too and so on.

I often wonder if the senior girl is an angel. So much compassion and thoughtfulness at such a young age…

I got a message that a mother wants to meet me. The student has just joined our institute- a slow learner again who made me wonder, why I get all these gems. I have to rack my brains how to make my classes more interesting and which makes recollection easy.

So I go and meet the mother. She tells me that the child is a slow learner. I nod. She says, ‘her father died two years back and it was such a shock to her that she has still not recovered’. I wonder again, why am I the special one.

She tells me the shortcomings of the child. I nod again and ask her not to worry and send her off.

Yesterday I get a message that she wants to meet me. I go down, a little angry, what changes can one bring in just 2 classes.

I see that she is with another lady AND she is the child’s mother. So who is the lady who came first? It seems they first met when they used to meet in the school bus stop. Then the man expired and this lady stepped in to help.

In a world where we don’t even know who our neighbours are, a stranger steps in and helps you…not just once but continuously for the past three years. Incredible isn’t it.

And in all the three cases the employer saw to it that the spouse gets a job if not with him at least somewhere and then gave visas to the children too.

Compassion is not dead…..not yet.

Make hay….

The winter has been quite dreadful. It hasn’t been very cold but it has been very windy with occasional rains.  The weather is such which  makes your teeth chatter and your bones cold.

As I snuggle inside the quilt to watch some TV, the son snuggled in along with me. And for some time we have fun, snuggling, kissing each other. And then I realise that in a few more years he will refuse to snuggle with me, spend time with me  or allow me to kiss him.

I snuggle some more and make the most of the available time.

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Written for 100 words on Saturday at Write tribe. The prompt this time free your mind.

What is important?

I looked out of my window. The visuals were not that bad. Having moved into this city recently, I was skeptical of everything. I had not thought that we would get a spacious flat but we had. I had thought that the neighbours would be boorish, they were not. In fact they were quite friendly. The building had long corridors which meant that Akhil my son could play even if it was raining outside. There were many kids and whats more, Akhil’s classmate Raj lived next door. With Akhil settled down. I was at peace and more adjustable to the circumstances.

Yes, I missed my family especially my in-laws with whom I had been living for the past 10 years but then some sacrifices are needed if you have to advance in your career. And so when the husband got a good offer we moved to this city leaving our home and loved ones behind.

‘Ma, I am going to play’, screamed Akhil. I was feeling bored so I followed him out. It was very hot that day and so the kids had decided to play in the corridor and then when it cooled down, they had plans to move out.

They started playing cricket. After two overs, Akhil said, ‘Wait’, I will call Raj’.

And he started banging the door and ringing the bell simultaneously.

‘Don’t make a din, Akhil’, I said

‘Another boy said, ‘Don’t call Raj, we have Summatives next week, so don’t call.

Akhil didn’t listen to either of us and kept on banging.

The door opened with a jerk and Raj’s father came out and yelled, ‘Don’t you have exams next week, go study and DO NOT DISTURB understand??’, and he shut the door with a bang.

Akhil was shaken. I did not know how to respond. The other boy said, ‘I warned you na, summatives are on next week and so Raj and his brother will not come out for the next 15 days.

I was surprised. I mean so many amends have been made so that there is not much stress on children, there are no marks or ranks given but only grades and yet……

Summatives had begun but at out home everything was normal. We both believe that children learning is a continuous process. And though we see to it that Akhil revises the day before the exam, we try and see that he is not stressed.

And so he was his normal self- monkeying around. I was taking my stroll he was cycling. We saw Raj, he was carrying a packet obviously he had been to get something from the shop nearby.

‘How are you, Raj, EVS went well today?’, I asked.

The boy was disturbed and was about to cry. ‘No, I made two mistakes’, he said and ran away.

We just stood looking at him. This was quite unlike Akhil who just comes and yells, ‘Ma, I made two mistakes’, as if it is an achievement to be broadcast.

The results were out. Akhil did reasonably well. I was satisfied. Even if I had asked him why he had done mistakes, he would have just replied, ‘It happened Ma, what can I do about it now’. So I just told him where all he had gone wrong and what all he had to improve.

I didn’t ask Raj and his brother how they had fared. I was afraid that if they had not done well, they would be hurt.

I met their father some days later and after some preliminary talks as any  normal conversations go between parents I asked him how his sons had fared. ‘Not good, the elder one got in the range of 37, 38 out of 40 the younger one got 40 in two and 39, 39.5 in two’, he said.

‘But that is very good’, I protested.

‘Oh no they have to be perfect to get good grades’, he said.

‘But is it so important? It is how you lead your life which is more important’, I said. I truly believe that it is not marks but your character, integrity, values which help you to be successful in  life.

‘Do you teach that to your child’, he said, ‘Don’t do that marks are important, getting full marks is very important’, he said and left.

I kept on looking. What was important? Raising happy confident kids or raising robot kids?

There was a commotion behind. I looked there. An old man had slipped and fallen, all the grocery items had fallen from his shoulder bag. Akhil first helped the man to get up on his feet and then proceeded to pick up everything and put in the bag.Then he put the bag on his shoulder and held the old man’s hand and lead him to his home.

Akhil many never be a topper, maybe he will never be an IAS or Engineer but I knew that his heart was in the right place and he was a winner all the way.

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This post in part of Write over the Weekend an initiative for Indian bloggers by BlogAdda.

The theme for this week, DO NOT DISTURB

I truly believe that education is a beautiful learning process and though competition is good, the quest for perfection kills the appetite for learning.